How To Feel Better About Yourself: 12 Ways To Take Your Power Back In 2019
by Jessica Alstrom
How to feel better about yourself is one of the most common questions I’m asked as a coach. After many years of working with clients around the globe one thing I know for sure is the answer to feeling better about yourself comes down to the way you treat yourself and manage your personal power.
If your life, relationships, health, career or business aren’t where you want them it’s likely you need to take your power back. Read on for 12 tips to manage your personal power and create the kickass life you deserve!
How to Feel Better About Yourself And Create the Life You Deserve
If you are ready to feel better about yourself and create the life you dream of take note of these 12 tips to take your power back. Some of them may not be what you expect … but trust me this is where the answers lie if you really want to feel better about yourself and build a life you’re happy with.
1. Observe Where You Are “Comfortable Suffering”
Have you noticed a tendency to suffer so others can feel free? This subtle empathic quality can see you denying your own needs over the need to provide for others. While being selfless may have been drilled into you as being a good quality – in reality, it creates self-rejection and denial. Pay attention and if you catch yourself acting as a martyr, it’s time to identify this as “comfortable suffering”. Stop this behavior and you will regain your power from miscommunication, resentment, and even loneliness.
2. Turn Comparison into Personal Focus
Whether you say it out loud or you’re running comparisons on repeat in your mind, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Guess what? The grass is greener where it’s being grown! It’s time to mind your own business and focus on your desires and achievements, not the highlight reel you see around you. Pay attention to your comparative thoughts and pull back the power to where it’s needed… in your own field! This could also be a good time to “get real” a little on social media. By opening up and being vulnerable about the less than good experiences going on in your life right now, you can help those around you shift too.
3. Learn to Say No
How many times have you put your head on the pillow at the end of the night in complete exhaustion? The people pleaser can behave like one of those pre-programmed toys where you pull the string and it repeats the same phrase. Well, who knew that “no” is a complete sentence? Acknowledge your needs and desires and make a considered decision on what it is you can do and what you can’t do.
4. Say Yes to Yourself
We have been conditioned to believe that putting our desires ahead of others is selfish and narcissistic – particularly if you’re a parent! We have been bullied into believing our needs and wants are less important than others. Just as you’re now going to be saying “no” firmly, you’ll also need to flip the switch and say “yes” to self-care and self-development. If you really want to feel better about yourself it’s time to tune in and notice those self-destructive patterns that have held you back. It’s time to stand up, get a backbone, and begin to address your own needs. And have no fear, self-focus is nothing like narcissism. It’s all about awareness, which expands out with compassion and generosity to others. It’s a serious upgrade, not a trade for self-neglect.
5. Notice What Gives You Energy & What Depletes it
Ever start a conversation with someone and soon feel like you’re being dragged underwater? Not literally, of course, but pull back your power by beginning to observe everything around you. What makes you come alive and what depletes you? Declutter those people and experiences that zap, rather than add zing to your life. This can mean a change of relationships, obligations, and routines so you can be the strongest, most confident, most focused version of you!
6. Notice Where Your One-sided Relationships Are
If you’ve been drawn to the type of person you wouldn’t feel comfortable introducing to your mom, it’s time to take a look at the feelings you have for yourself. It’s not about them! A lack of self-love can be an instant magnet for relationships that will feed off you. Weed these one-sided relationships out where you’re constantly giving and feeling imbalanced. To do this, pay attention to those people that are not there when you need them. If you want to feel better about yourself – know that it’s better to have a smaller circle of friends, or be single, than to feel like you can’t trust those around you to have your back.
7. Find a Safe Way to Speak Your Truth
Ahhhh, this one is so important and so freeing! When you express yourself, you clear the negative energy that creates a sluggish body and overactive mind. You can speak your truth by… well speaking, but you can also look to write your feelings down, sing them into the ether, even dance them away! Once you get into this habit, you’ll wonder why you have been holding back before.
8. Act Out Your Intentions
You know the phrase, “fake it ‘til you make it”, it’s an easy one to recite but can you actually do it? This is a great neural hack as your brain doesn’t know the difference between you having something or thinking you have it. Boom. The ultimate faking it! When you act out your intentions, you set in motion the events to realize them. When your thoughts and actions are in alignment, you’ll soon see a shift into the reality you’ve been acting out. Try it with something small and pay attention to the results. From there, build up until you’re acting “as if” for that dream life you know deep down you want.
9. Stop Self Abusing by Over Promising
We self-abuse in so many ways but a big one is overpromising and under-delivering. Like you don’t have enough on your plate and you still add opportunities to throw in a side of guilt! Social influence can make you agree to people and things that you’re not actually interested in. That BBQ at your cousin’s place? Looking after your friend’s dog on a busy weekend? It’s time to stop the self-abuse and to start making choices that you don’t have to extract yourself from later. A great way to do this is to think of the invitation in three seconds. If it’s not a “hell yes”, it’s a no! It’s a skill to practice but it’s worth it when you start removing extra opportunities for guilt from your life.
10. Use the 50/50 Rule
You’ve heard of the 80/20 rule but for a major bio-hack, you’ll need to know the 50/50 rule. This is creating a balance of 50% self-care or self-investment, and 50% service to others. This is an amazing way to feel better about yourself. By creating the space and time to work on your dream life/health/hobbies or purpose, you create a natural boundary for the other 50%. It can’t be all self-care – you do need those dollar bills in the bank after all, but find balance is an important step to recover your power. The rest of your time can be in service to your family, friends, and others, as well as for co-creating, and, oh yes, work! If this seems impossible then you really need to do this. It’s likely you’ve long given up on yourself, creating a false joy in helping others reach their dreams instead. Guilty as charged?
11. Make Your Life Your Priority
You are here to live the leading role of your life, it’s that simple. If you find that your motivation is lacking, it’s time to look at your belief systems. Much like you need to clear out those boxes that have accumulated in the garage, you also need to look at what old entrenched beliefs have kept you from your dream. It’s so ingrained in us to think that we cannot have anything we want from life – and certainly not everything – but it’s BS. Again, start paying attention to your thoughts as it’s time for a belief system make-over.
12. Don’t Give Away Your Essence, Give Away Your Extra!
You have heard the proverb “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. This is a great metaphor for those times when your power is no longer sitting in your hands – you’ve given it all away! Even the flight attendants on the airplanes tell you to put the oxygen on yourself first before you help others. Consider yourself captain of your own airplane now as you shift yourself to experiences of self-care so that your cup is no longer empty. Once full, you can then share your efforts with others. You’ll find the results will be tenfold from when you were slogging away from a place of lack.
Ready to Feel Better About Yourself?
If you are really ready to feel better about yourself start by following these 12 steps to taking your power back. Even if you tackle one or two at a time, you’ll start to see real shifts in what lies within. While it may have been lying dormant until now, your ability to have a healthy relationship with yourself will reach across all areas of your life. Expect to see an increase in your stamina, your energy, your creativity, and more! It’s time to stop playing the bit-part of an extra in your life. Are you ready to step into the leading role in your life?
Would You Like Some Help to Take Your Power Back?
If you’d like to really step into taking your power back join me for my Quantum Revolution Warrior Training. Starting on 20 January 2019 this 8-week program will help you take your power back and make 2019 your best year yet.
This workshop is for you if you’re:
- sick of setting goals and new year resolutions only to fall back into the same old patterns within weeks?
- tired of trying Law of Attraction tricks that just don’t work?
- frustrated by moving 10 steps forward then falling all the way back on your journey?
- sick of taking training after training but not making any money or living the life you want?
- feeling like no one understands you or your mission?
- feeling a call or urge to help but feel stuck not knowing how?
- ready to step into your true role as teacher, leader, coach, lightworker, and leade
- ready to take your power back and shine like a beacon for others.
To find out more about the Quantum Revolution Warrior Training and how it can help click here.
Jessica Alstrom heads TICA (Transcendence International Consciousness Academy), facilitates the global coaching forum Quantum Life and is the creator of the Quantum Revolution Tour events. Her work bridges the gap between science, spiritual development, and ancient medicine. She is a Quantum Sound Healer, Life Coach, and Medical Intuitive. Her work has reached 102 countries worldwide and she teaches regularly from her home base in Kansas.